I met with Gavin Neill today. "How did it go?" Simone asked, which around Ko is code for I'm dying of curiosity, what did you talk about anyway? "Fine," I said, which is code for I'm not telling you a thing, sister. I didn't mean to make her grumpy, I'd be happy to tell her, except I have no idea what to say. Because I have no idea what we talked about or even why. I am beginning to think I'm not cut out for business at all. Let's hope Crichton doesn't find out, I'll be fired before I even start the job.

I went to his office braced for...I don't know, just braced. And also feeling strange because so much has happened since the last time I was here, and so much of that is due to him. I don't know the courtesies for this kind of thing. How do you say, Oh, by the way, thanks for pulling my heart out of the fire? Thanks for giving me my life back?

He invited me in and we sat and he said, "Thank you for making time to see me." One of the things that is so interesting about Neill is that he can make something like that sound as if one truly has a choice about these things.

"Of course," I said. "What can I do for you?"

He leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands on the desk. "I was hoping you'd take a few minutes to tell me your impressions of Solitaire."

"Certainly," I said. "What would you like to know?" Another thing that is interesting is how formal I become in these situations, as if coloring inside the lines of business manners would ever save anyone.

So he asked about the solo community and the watchers. And he seemed very curious about the bar itself, and what it's like to be there. I'll bet I spent twenty minutes talking about a typical evening, how people behave, relating what Jackal's told me about the psychology of these things. And he asked about Jackal too, very careful questions: is she in good health? How is she adjusting?

I said, "Well, she's doing exactly what you taught her to do."

And I wonder, am I too? Am I just doing exactly what they've taught me? Support the Hope. Have I been an excellent, oblivious student all these years?

I asked him if I had been helpful, and he said, "Singular observations are always helpful." I have no idea what he meant by that. I will have to get Jackal to explain it to me.